Stress

Whoops! Missed Friday's post. I've become quite erratic when blogging here these last few weeks but to be honest, I've been busier and the stress has been building which I think is what has been affecting my eating habits.

My job is changing for one. I'm still at the same job but my duties are changing and I'm feeling very anxious about the future. I'm moving into a more technical role at my workplace and I don't know if I've got what it takes to succeed. I've taken a couple of courses offered internally to prepare myself and I found them beyond my skill set which didn't make me feel any better. Now that I've finished them, I'm expected to start moving into this new role at a time when our company is rushing to the finish line of delivering a new product. Everyone is working harder and nobody has the time to explain things to a newbie so I'm basically on my own until things settle down and people have more time. Also, it doesn't help that I hate my job anyway and need to get out of here before I lose my mind completely. The only real hope I have right now is that I finally, after a process that took over a year to complete, qualifed for a pool with the Federal Gov't for a job so I'm waiting to see if I get plucked out of that and get offered something with them. God I hope the wait isn't much longer.

More stress was added this past week when the photographer we hired to do our wedding photos went missing in action. We had booked our engagement photos for Sunday but wanted to change the location of them and sent him an email which went unanswered. Then Red called and left a message which also went unanswered. Another phone call was made on Sunday, again no reply, so we dutifully showed up at the original location to find ourselves waiting in vain for our missing photog. Not a good situation. So now we don't know what is going on with him and I've sent along another email and we'll call again later today. To say we're worried would be an understatement. There's a couple of personal issues going on too, one involving my long lost son, that I'm trying to deal with.

So add that to the fact that I can't seem to get my diet and exercise routine back on track, and you can see how I'm struggling currently. Thing is, Red's in the same mood foodwise. We're both somewhat out of control although I'm admittedly moreso. I'm still going to the gym, but I've got no gas in the tank. My workouts are long and hard; there's no steam in my stride. I probably need to change things up, God knows I've been doing the same thing for years. But my shoulder is still sore so lifting weights is out for now. And I really want to drop some more weight before I add weight by building muscle. I know it'll balance out in the end, but I need to see a lower number on that scale before I purposely raise it which is what will happen almost immediately. If only some of this stress would clear up, I'd feel better. Mostly in the job area.

BTW, I did hop on the scale Friday; it read 201.5lbs. So much for beating 200. I need to get my shit together.